Talk:Snowflurry’s Innocence/@comment-37930514-20190422000322

Awesome!

I suggest separating some of the dialogue in one paragraph. Example:

Sun was baking Snowflurry’s pelt. She slowly opened her eyes- and they snapped open when they registered a cat standing almost over her.

"That rock must've hurt," ''' the cat said. '''"My name's Night, what's yours?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she answered, rising to her paws a little bit painfully. She noticed cats milling around in the distance. "Are you from a clan?" she asked him.

Though, those are just my suggestions. It's awesome so far!