NOTE: This page is meant for comedic purposes only. This is not at all supposed to explain how Graystripe was actually born. I mean, come on, guys, will we ever find out that mystery?


Patchpelt: Hi, my name is Patchpelt, and I'm the most ignored warrior in history.

(Cuts to Patchpaw and Leopardpaw's warrior ceremony.)

Patchpelt: My sister was made a Warrior with honors...

ThunderClan: Leopardfoot! Leopardfoot! Leopardfoot!

Patchpelt: ...yet I was given a nametag!

(Sunstar puts a nametag on Patchpelt's chest.)

Patchpelt: You heard me right. A fricking nametag! How did Sunstar get one of those anyway?

(Cut to a screenshot of Sunstar being near crying.)

Patchpelt: A lot of times, they didn't even get my name right!

(Cuts to Sunstar organizing a border patrol.)

Sunstar: Leopardfoot, Bluefur, and... what was his name again? Beavis? Butthead? Come on, give me some ideas. This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't taken off the stupid nametag.

Patchpelt: My life was major suckage for a long time. And then he came.

(Willowpelt is seen walking around with a cat that looks just like Patchpelt, except he has a chiseled chin and a cheesy grin.)

Patchpelt: His name... oh, how could I forget his name? He was Francescini Pugliese Jabroni Baloney Jonee. He just walked around with his Hispanic accent and he just acted like he was the big s**t. The Clan didn't give half a damn that he was a rogue and the romance between Willowpelt and Francescini was completely unacceptable.

Francescini: You are so beautiful, my beloved Willowpelt.

Willowpelt: Oh, Francescini!

Patchpelt: Oh, and I almost forgot. The rogue problem was solved when Bluestar let Francescini into ThunderClan.

(Cut to a bunch of ThunderClan cats beating up Patchpelt.)

Patchpelt: And the not-recognizing problem became even worse! I was attacked 4 times during one season in Greenleaf because the Clan thought I was a rogue! And then I heard that Willowpelt was due with Francescini's kits. That was where I drew the line.

(Cut to Patchpelt violently attacking Francescini.)

Patchpelt: I murdered Francescini...

(Cut to Patchpelt walking into a hospital.)

Patchpelt: ...and learned to perfectly emulate the cat.

(Cut to Patchpelt being surrounded by his hostile Clanmates.)

Patchpelt: Everything was fine, until one day my accent slipped. The Clan thought I was a sicko and was Francescini all along in an attempt to get attention. They punished me with another gang beating and forced me to retire to the Elder's den.

(Cuts to Patchpelt in the Dark Forest.)

Patchpelt: And I wound up in the Dark Forest just because StarClan forgot my name again! And you won't believe who wound up in StarClan instead of me.

(Cut to Beavis & Butthead terrorizing the StarClan cats.)

Leopardfoot: And that's how my nephew Graystripe was conceived! (continues running away.)